Fear is the emotion that lies underneath most of the actions that make conflict difficult or destructive. Fear that if we are honest about what we want, how we feel, or what we’ve done—we will receive an honest answer that upends all of the beliefs or justifications that we are using to protect ourselves. Fear that we will be rejected, uncared for, or abandoned because of what we desire, what we’ve done, or who we are. Fear that we will lose control if we share responsibility with others—and, in losing control, we will face the unpredictable, the unknown, the potential chaos of having choices and having to define those choices with/for others. Fear that our pasts will return—literally bringing back people or places we’ve left behind, bringing forward the memories of things we’ve tried to forget, or reliving destructive patterns. Fear of physical or emotional pain if a conflict intensifies.
Confronting Our Fear in Conflict
Confronting Our Fear in Conflict
Confronting Our Fear in Conflict
Fear is the emotion that lies underneath most of the actions that make conflict difficult or destructive. Fear that if we are honest about what we want, how we feel, or what we’ve done—we will receive an honest answer that upends all of the beliefs or justifications that we are using to protect ourselves. Fear that we will be rejected, uncared for, or abandoned because of what we desire, what we’ve done, or who we are. Fear that we will lose control if we share responsibility with others—and, in losing control, we will face the unpredictable, the unknown, the potential chaos of having choices and having to define those choices with/for others. Fear that our pasts will return—literally bringing back people or places we’ve left behind, bringing forward the memories of things we’ve tried to forget, or reliving destructive patterns. Fear of physical or emotional pain if a conflict intensifies.