A Culture of Urgency
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A Culture of Urgency
A culture of urgency is one where there is a sense of extreme drive, impending catastrophe, and compulsory or even coercive participation under the threat that if we don’t do enough then we are causing harm. In this culture, we have a sense that our “commitment” is constantly under assessment and our output is the measure: hours worked, calls made, meetings attended, money raised, recruitments achieved. When we fall short of these expectations (which may feel like a moving target detached from context), we feel that our compassion, empathy, or ethics may be called into question or even taken to account. As a resource, time is harshly controlled (“every minute counts”) and many aspects of life and relationship are considered a waste of that time, or are emphasized as a “luxury” (often one that we “can’t afford”). People are often rewarded (directly or subtly) for hustling, prioritizing the work, and sacrificing for the cause or mission—including for skipping meals, ditching social engagements, or declining other rewarding opportunities. There are many things we tell each other we don’t have time for: socializing, reflection, or conflict often being at the top of that list.
When we have a culture of urgeny in our organizations, households, relationships, or larger society as a whole, conflict tends to be viewed as an nuisance and an impediment to the goal, rather than a meaningful signal that our path to the goal isn’t working. When we raise our concerns directly, this is referred to as “drama” or “distraction.” This view, that conflict is an obstacle, creates a tendency to deprioritize or try to work around a conflict, rather than to address it directly. Unfortunately, this often means the underlying causes of the conflict fester or leak out, in ways that ultimately sabotage us and impair our ability to reach our true purpose.
In a time of apparent apocalyptic turmoil, it is very hard to shift out of urgency—people’s lives may actually depend on our actions, the survival of whole species and lands do depend on our actions. That urgency can be deeply embodied, and working toward a mission, no matter how comparitively small, can give us a sense of control and relief. But—that apocalypse is not new (though its current formations may be). For as long as there has been an imperialist, colonial, or capitalist project, entire communities and species have been in a state of precarity and threat. That is to say that we are on a generations long journey that requires sustainability and transformation of the way we are in relation to each other and this planet.
When we allow that urgency to prevent us from reflecting on whether or not our efforts are actually moving us toward a better future—we risk sustaining the status quo or making things worse. When we let our anxiety prevent us from course correcting when a change is needed (conflict), our organizations, relationships, or communities will collapse—and that will ultimately be more destructive to our purpose than pausing to address the conflict would be.
Shifting Culture When Lives are on the Line
One of the things I come across most often when working with organizations who are in life-saving, life-affirming, transformational work like mutual aid, bail support, healthcare delivery, crisis response, etc. is that the urgency of the work prevents us from building the deep connections, relationships, and trust that are necessary to be able to withstand (let alone benefit from) a conflict crisis. Because the organization and its members are under constant and pervasive pressures of oppression and capitalism, there is a very embodied sense that there is never enough time to talk about how to collectively make decisions or address conflict, or even to deal with a conflict when it arises. These conversations are constantly put aside, put aside, put aside. Avoided conflict, like a virus, spreads throughout the relationship and culture of the space from underneath, and then there are a series of implosions or explosions that threaten to take the entire organization down.
Here are a few things that can be done to start to shift that culture without requiring extra time—all of these will build a stronger culture for addressing conflict directly.
Place a temporary moratorium on new projects or expansions.
If your members are experiencing so much pressure and burn out that conflict can’t be addressed, then that is a pretty powerful signal that there shouldn’t be any new efforts added to the mix. Try to establish a timeline (six months, one year, two years) during which you’ll focus on your current goals and not add anything more—even if that means things slow down or downsize. Try to come together to decide on what indicators show that you have capacity to take on something new: shift thinking away from “productivty” indicators, toward wellness indicators like are we getting enough rest, are our relationships healthy, are we communicating well.
Introduce consent into meeting/gathering facilitation.
Even when a meeting or gathering’s agenda is collectively decided, this is often a passive form of collectivity (e.g. there’s a google doc with the agenda and everyone can add or comment on it). Consent means taking time on the day of the meeting or gathering, preferably a little bit before it starts, to check in about everyone’s capacity, ability, and willingness to engage in those particular topics or activities that day.1 If people aren’t prepared for a particular conversation, talking about how to get prepared and when to return to that topic. If people are low energy, talking about what topics or activities would be energizing or doable. If people have something pressing on their minds, talking about whether that should be moved to the forefont of the agenda. All of this requires flexibility, creativity, imagination, and compassion for where people are—while it may seem like this would eat up a lot of meeting time, usually this is just a few minutes that will save you tons of time later on when people aren’t fully participating or conflict breaks out because a topic was approached poorly. We shouldn’t stop caring about whether or not we move things forward (and should be cautious if we are constantly putting things off), but we should allow the group to pace itself in a consensual way. When conflict arises, this builds a foundation for communicating about when and how a conflict can be addressed, in a way that meets everyone’s needs.
Establish a monthly or quarterly check-in.
Relationships and communication are truly everything when it comes to shifting culture. If all of the time we spend together is task-focused and about “getting things done,” then we are never going to establish the connections and trust that are needed to communicate about difficult topics. Dedicating some time each month or quarter (I’m all about this being a solstice/equinox aligned event!) to check in with each other can begin to create a sense of connection with the whole group together—rather than friend groups or cliques. A check-in could look a lot of ways and should take into consideration your particular group dynamics, but might include:
everyone having an opportunity to share how things have been going for them
bringing unaddressed concerns to the forefront, to be discussed
learning about each other’s lives and experiences outside the organization/project
reconnecting to how your stories, passions, or interests bond you together
resurfacing and celebrating each other’s strengths, abilities, and skills (with less focus on how they contribute to “the work” and more on community)
debriefing difficult decisions or moments
imagining a better world or future created from your purpose
These check-ins should purposefuly not include:
decision-making
planning
solving
working
organizing
anything else you normally do “for the work” in meeting time
If this is a new concept for your organization/group, you may want to hire an outside facilitator to design a process for the first couple of check-ins. Once you’ve experienced this together a few times, you can likely do so on your own.
Introduce play.
Play is something that is very challenging for me and I know is challenging for a lot of people in urgent work or survival states. Raina LeGrand wrote in a recent blog post that play helps facilitate necessary aspects of liberation: “our minds and bodies can move, explore, create, and enact.” To play is risky. Play contains vulnerability, exposure, and a relinquishing of our public façade. If we can get to a place where we can play together, we are closer to being able to trust and therefore be honest. Play also facilitates bonds around happiness, joy, imagination, freedom, laughter, and curiosity rather than around pain, suffering, struggle, and confinement. We can introduce play incrementally, starting with low-stakes activities (like bopping our heads to music, card games, peaceful walks, exploring someplace/something new) and increasing vulnerability at the speed of trust, toward collective imagination games or silly/wild games that let us be loose and free together. The more we play without judgment, the more we can rely on others to let us be who we really are. Building a little time in each gathering or event for this kind of activity can help to release tension and build trust that will create space for generative conflict when it arises.
Normalize one-on-ones.
There’s always that moment in an organization when someone texts and says, “Hey, can we talk?” and your heart starts to race because you’re thinking—“I only ever talk to this person when something is wrong. What did I do/say/get into?” Too often everything we know about each other revolves around how we do the work or approach a meeting or take a stand on a controversial topic, we don’t really know each other’s whys—why did you get into this? why is this important to you? why do you feel so strongly about that? why is there so much at stake for you? why do you speak, act, express yourself in those ways? Too often the only time we’re getting to know each other on a personal level is when we have a problem with each other—and that’s too little too late. Urgency prevents us from developing the kinds of relationships that help us withstand and empathize during conflict.
A one-on-one is exactly what it sounds like, a get together with two people (could be three people or four if you wanted), where you can talk directly and somewhat privately. I would challenge you to normalize one-on-ones by:
Having multiple one-on-ones with new members, so that they get to know a few new people on a personal level—centering these one-on-ones not around their work or what they can bring to the work, but around who they are and what their purpose is
Encouraging everyone to do a one-on-one every month or so with a random person in the organization—you could even hold a social event like “speed dating” but for platonic relationship building. You can have pre-established conversation topics if people are feeling awkward (“What are you most excited and/or worried about?” as it relates to the work or life is a good one, that doesn’t demand more vulnerability than someone may want to give). This will only work if it isn’t some kind of test or obligation, but as an opportunity to build a new connection and get to know someone better. These are a great way to establish connections with people who are often socially isolated or excluded! Make sure to invite folks you wouldn’t normally get to know.
Encouraging a one-on-one as a pivot when we feel inclined to gossip or vent to others—and this is perhaps the most challenging but most important one. Whenever we feel that frustration, annoyance, or nuisance about a particular person, we usually go to our friends or comrades and start talking about how frustrating that person is and wondering with each other why they are the way they are, instead of going directly to that person with some curiosity. My challenge for you would be to ask that person to coffee or for a walk and ask them about their life, their stressors, their challenges—all of these things that build empathy, connection, and understanding. Then, if you still have a frustration, to directly name what’s going on and work through it with a deeper understanding of what they’re going through.
P.S. Sometimes I feel like I am constantly repeating myself and I forget who I’ve told “a story” to and who I haven’t. I think this is because even though I work with many people and many organizations with deeply unique situations, I find that our struggles have similar threads. If I have said all of this to you before, hopefully this is a welcome reminder.
Opportunities to Learn + Act
My extraordinary friend and comrade K Agbebiyi was recently a guest on the podcast Gender Reveal, I haven’t had a chance to listen yet but knowing them the episode must be wonderful. Check it out here on Spotify or here on Libsyn.
At Least One Reason Why You Struggle to Access Curiosity, Creativity, and Play by Raina LeGrand (referenced above).
AORTA is going to host their Facilitate for Freedom workshops again this year and this time registration is happening through a lottery system. Sign up for the lottery here.
Not that I’m promoting Netflix as a corporation but I am really looking forward to this new series and the trailer made me laugh, so:
Check out “Facilitation as Experiments in Culture Creation” by Sage Crump (p. 50 - 55) in Holding Change by adrienne maree brown.