Happy belated solstice, winter holidays, and welcome to a new calendar year. I’m not one for the new year, new you sentiment or setting new years resolutions. That said, wiser people have shown me that self-awareness and reflection are necessary for everyday practices of anti-oppression and transformative justice—and that reflection can be a powerful coping mechanism against depression, hopelessness, and loss. For those of us in the midwest and northeast U.S., we’re entering dark, cold months that tend to slow down and offer space to think and make changes.
In that spirit, I’ve included some reflection questions (below) and I’ve been reflecting on ways to make this newsletter community more connected and relational. If you’d like to provide some feedback for how to improve the newsletter or express interest in participating in a virtual get-together, please fill out this form. If there is interest, I’m thinking of hosting casual gatherings via zoom where folks could share about the conflicts they’re thinking about and experiencing, ask questions of each other, and receive support. I’m also open to other ideas for how we can communicate and how I can support your conflict learning goals. Please don’t hesitate to send me an e-mail (conflicttransformation@protonmail.com)—I love to hear from people in a format that makes us both feel more like real people.
I’m looking forward to making some changes as well as returning to newsletters on conflict topics a.s.a.p. In the meantime, enjoy these reflections as an antedote to messages of “self-improvement”—take care and be well.
Winter Solstice Reflection
Alone or with friends and family, sit by fire-light, bake something warm, wrap a blanket around you, go for a walk, muse while doing dishes—whatever works for you— and think about your place in a better community & world.
Values
What does it mean to practice my values?
Have I lived with integrity and practiced my values lately?
Relationships + Community
Which relationships give me the most joy and strength? How have I nurtured those relationships?
To whom have I given my time, energy, and resources? Who has given their time, energy, and resources to me? Has this been reciprocal (mutual) or destructive? How have these dynamics impacted our relationships? What do we need in order to shift these dynamics where needed?
What needs or desires have others expressed, that I have neglected? What capacity do I have to be responsive to them? What can I do to be honest about what I can’t/won’t do, while supporting their wellness, liberation, joy, and fulfillment?
What needs or desires are unfulfilled for me? How does that impact me and my ability to be present and my best self with others? What needs to change? How can I move toward that (with others’ support)?
Unresolved + Ongoing Conflicts
What conflicts of power and resources are impacting my communities most right now? How am I engaging in those conflicts in ways that bring us closer to liberation, strength, joy, and opportunity?
What tensions or conflicts have gone unaddressed? Why? When will it be the right time to engage in resolution, tranformation, or intervention? How am I preparing for that?
What conflicts have been most present lately? How have they impacted me and those around me? What understandings or skills do I need, to show up in those conflicts in ways that will be better for all of us?
Have there been moments when myself or someone else showed up with integrity in a crisis, disagreement, or struggle? How can I internalize and nurture that in myself and others?
What changes can we make together this year/season, that will build toward a more liberated future?
These are all really good reflections that I'll need to sit with for the rest of this season, honestly. I actually started journaling recently, in line with the seasons, so perhaps I'll use that space to go through these more!