Flirting with Trying Again

Re-introducing myself and taking a step to restart

Content Warning: Brief mention of my position on Palestine, vague mentions of current events

Content Summary: Luna re-introduction, sets context, sets intentions, provides expectations

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Good afternoon weird and curious beings—thank you for being here and an invitation to stay for a new ride:

My name is Luna N.H., I am a conflict facilitator, educator, and therapist. I am a white settler, living on Anishinaabe land (so-called Michigan, U.S.). I am an aquarius, a geek, an abolitionist, an organizer, a bff to a sweet pitbull, and an enneagram 1. Most people found me here because of a viral instagram account or online courses I held during COVID.

Photo of Luna (human, left) with Nova (dog, right).

A lot and too little has happened while I’ve been away from substack. In the United States imperialism, white supremacy, and capitalist violence persist, expand, and show their teeth each day. Four years ago, I began a journey to understand and become licensed to address trauma as a part of conflict transformation, to better support organizers, activists, and oppressed people in liberation efforts. Three years ago, I simultaneously co-led the pilot of an unarmed, non-police crisis response program and found myself to be a lightning rod within the very conflicts I spent my adult life trying to transform (a story worth telling, perhaps next time). Needless to say, ups, downs, doubts, hopes, etc.

Now, I find myself working as a full-time therapist, embedded in yet another system that I simultaneously resist and participate in—the mental health industrial complex / “wellness” industry. What brings me to substack again is to try to find my way back to inspiration, curiosity, and activation toward my original purpose: to transform conflict from a trauma-based approach, to increase collective capacity for resistance and liberation. I’ll admit, I feel far away from that right now.

In future posts, I hope to explore learnings and practices from both trauma-healing and conflict transformation perspectives, particularly how they interplay in our day-to-day lives and in our organizing communities. I hope to provide alternative ways of seeing and doing “mental health” and “conflict resolution,” and ways of seeing these fields of practice as inextricably intertwined: we are all in conflict with ourselves and our relations all the time, how we perceive and participate depends on our internal world, which is informed by how we are routinely traumatized by the lack of agency and belonging we experience within these conflicts.

“Let us build a movement that recognizes that social transformation can only come through mass societal healing. Let us remember that because we have changes, so can the world.” - Alok Vaid-Menon

If that brings about curiosity, excitement, or interest, I welcome you to connect, listen, share, respond, disagree, and invite me in to your perspective. If it doesn’t interest you, I will not be hurt if you unsubscribe (there is so much content everywhere; it is wise to be discerning about what you take in). To that end, as I begin to post again, a few things I want to make transparent:

1. I imagine frequency of posts to once every two weeks. If you’d like to be a paid subscriber, funds go to support my capacity in offering free services to people and communities frequently shut out of traditional mental health and conflict resolution spaces (e.g. therapy, mediation). All content is free, so subscriptions serve as donations—I don’t believe in “exclusive” content based on access to funds (but also don’t judge those who must do that to survive in a f*cked up world).

2. At times, I will reference current events of structural violence (in particular police and imperialist violence). I will never go into gory/graphic details that may be triggering or re-traumatizing, though I recognize that simply bringing up these topics can trigger distress. I will do my best to post content warnings at the top. I commit to focusing on learnings and practices for transformation, never focusing on the violence itself.

3. Due to latter, you will see me talk about Palestine here. I advocate for a free, liberated Palestine as self-determined by the Palestinian people; I view Israel as a product of colonial violence and a colonial state engaged in genocide and apartheid. I view the United States as a colonial state complicit in and actively responsible for that violence. I also believe in the dignity and liberation of people of all faiths, and work toward a future where Jewish, Muslim, and Arab people are free to practice their cultures without fear. I oppose anti-Semitic, Islamophobic, and anti-Arab positions in all their forms. I have taken this stance since 2005, this is not a newly held or misinformed stance. If this position causes you pain, I welcome you to check the content warnings and challenge you to engage with compassion and curiosity toward other readers who may or may not share this view. I believe our differences are essential and important.

4. I will talk about trauma, mental health, and (dis)ability. I am never giving mental health advice. I am never discouraging access to mental healthcare of any kind, nor recommending it. I am not your therapist (unless I am, in which case hello, let’s talk in session about what you learn here). In a flawed, harmful, discriminatory, invalidating system we all have to find ways to understand ourselves and care for ourselves—I hold no judgment toward your use of any label, treatment, or practice that has helped you survive, thrive, or heal.

5. In my work as a facilitator and therapist, I have seen remarkable change happen when there seemed to be no hope. Because of that, I believe we have everything we need and are often doing the best we can. I also believe we can do more and do better. I believe we may not survive long enough to see liberation. I believe we must struggle and play toward it anyway. I believe collapse is likely inevitable. I believe we have to live as if it is not, to the best of our ability. I live by the words of Mariame Kaba, “Hope is a discipline.” I also live by the words of N.K. Jemisin, “Some worlds were built on fault lines of pain. Do not lament when they fall, rage that they were built in the first place.” These posts will be centered on what we can do differently, not what we cannot do. But, they will also acknowledge that we are not doing it at a great enough scale, which can be very painful to hold.

6. I do not have the answers. I do not pretend to. Everything is a question, even if it ends in a period. Everything is an experiment, with the accountability of making adjustments. Your participation, commentary, critique, nuance, and rejection is necessary, encouraged, invited. Name-calling, threats, bullying, and dismissal will not be tolerated in public forums.

7. Come with differences, leave with differences, come with curiosity, leave with even more curiosity.

Happy to be back on the internet with you.

If you want to reach me privately you can message me on substack, I will likely only check messages once per week. You can learn more about me at my website: www.lunanh.com or email me at luna@lunanh.com (I am notoriously and unapologetically slow at responding).

With love, solidarity, and rage,

Luna